matt 21 he/him
I’m thinking about how we say “spill the tea” or just “tea” and how ppl used to say “spill the beans” like what if we just said “beans” when gossiping
“… and then she told me that he actually wasn’t at her house!”
“oh beans”
(via curseworm)
(Source: caucasianscriptures, via mediumsizedboy)
mark fuckerburg
slap your balls and die
at this point comedy is a moving target and im just flailing my arms in a vain hope to hit it
(via captain-snack-pack)
(Source: catchymemes, via mediumsizedboy)
“Not all at once ladies :)” I say to the rats that bite my ankles
(via humorstar)
Physically I’m here but spiritually I’m lying in a Waffle House parking lot somewhere in rural Kentucky, slowly bleeding out from several stab wounds
(via averycutemoose)
(Source: coolart2021, via humorstar)
musicals as john mulaney quotes
Dear Evan Hansen
Chicago
Rent
Newsies
Heathers
Firebringer
Legally Blonde
The Book of Mormon
Hamilton
Les Mis
(via punchedtheburrsir)
